Ways to unstick yourself

The first session of the MindShifting: Mastering Your Resourceful Brain course examines the freeze response, how we sometimes sabotage what we want to accomplish by listening to our limbic brain’s excuses of why we should procrastinate or why we shouldn’t act. Some of the lies that our brains tells us are:

1. That’s a long way off, I don’t have to deal with it now
2. I am too tired or I have too many other problems to deal with
3. That will never happen, or if it does, it won’t be a big deal
4. I can’t do anything about this so why bother

The class brainstormed ways that we all can overcome those negative voices.

Here were their suggestions.

I think this is good to be aware that your brain does this. It makes me think I need to stop and take a break and take a few breaths to let my brain reset. In doing this it allows me to analyze what is really making me afraid. This is good to give our students a moment to let them also stop and think about what is really bothering them. Most likely their first reaction is just a reaction to something that is much deeper.

Breathe or chant to myself “I am ok, I am ok, I am ok.”

“I have done hard things before and I only get stronger by going through things, not around them.”

I could tell myself that I can start to consider possibilities.

“I can do this”, “what is another route I could take to make this possible?”

Break up the project or activity into steps. Make it more easy to complete.

I could tell myself, “I’m just avoiding it, but I can try one small step.” That might help me stop freezing and actually get something done.

I can say to myself, “I can do this for five minutes”.

“I definitely fall to the “”I have too many other problems to deal with”” excuse. I think it may be helpful to prioritize all of my “”problems”” by asking a series of questions:

• What could it look like if just I solved X-problem?
• Would having this problem solved make everything else manageable?
• What possibilities would open up if this problem was solved?
• What steps would I need to take to solve this problem?
• Is there a different problem that should be solved first instead?

“I have control over the situations in my life. “

Unclench jaw, relax shoulders, take 5 deep breaths.

“Hold on girl. Take a breath, take a moment and let’s look at this through calmer eyes and body.”

I can give myself a pep talk on. how I have the time now and I should take advantage of it because I may not find the time later, feel rushed, and a lot of pressure.

I could ask myself, “what’s the worst that could happen?” and also, “what’s the best thing that could happen?”

I can respond to myself by saying “perhaps I can…” and that will help me determine an initial action step to be able to start overcoming the problem.

This type of self talk helps me shift from avoidance to action, it can more likely to try strategies or supports that benefit my students. Students rely on us as educators to model flexibility , resilience and prescience.

I could say to myself that “It is easier to deal with it in the present, than to wait. If I break this big task into smaller parts it won’t be overwhelming” “If I procrastinate and put it off this task will most likely become even harder to deal with. “

I think I use “I can’t do anything about this so why bother” the most often especially if I am being yelled at or made to feel small. I can stop, say what I’m feeling, and that I will be glad to get back to this activity when [you] speak to me with respect or with a quiet voice. I’ll see you in 10 minutes and we can continue.

“You’ll feel better if you just get it done and off your mind now. “

“Perhaps I can and what could be my next step in moving forward. “

Take a “meta” minute to refocus. Although a deliberate pause is hard for me it is also something that works well to help me snap back into focus.

Something I might ask myself is, “What is the first step?” By identifying how to start addressing the problem that caused me to freeze, it might help break the problem into more manageable pieces.

My response-Perhaps I can. It will help set a positive tone and attitude to something that is difficult for me to say or do.

What would happen if you were to try it a new way?

My husband and I are rather large Disney fans. At Disneyland they have this thing called a burme. This is the illusion of a wall around the park that keeps all the happiness and churro smells inside. We have be actively been trying to keep our minds inside the burme. This means that negative thoughts live outside but I can’t hear them over the wonderful smell of churros. Sometimes we might peek our heads over the wall but often are able to pull ourselves or one another back inside the burme bubble.

Using the “perhaps I can” statement helps me see smaller step pathways.

Perhaps I can 🙂 or I wonder what would happen if I… Who could I call or talk to that might know what I could do to help me work through this problem?

The freeze excuses are something I’m still learning to manage. In the past, I often found myself self-sabotaging when a goal or task didn’t go as planned. In this moment, I am trying to reminded myself that I could approach it differently saying, “Perhaps I can just complete one item and then create a new plan or timeline for the rest.” This shift helps me focus on progress rather than perfection.

“It does matter!”

“Just do it now, because there are other things to do later. If I do it now, it will give me more time to enjoy the next activity because I would be thinking about having to do what I put off.”

Take a breath and THINK. think about what the next step will be, what is the importance?

Instead of putting something off, I decided to just get started, and it made coming back to it easier.

“What possible solutions to this problem are there?” I think that might help because it involves higher level thinking.

I could say “I think I can…” to foster more creative thinking.

Try to step back and breathe, and realize it’s just my internal saboteur stopping me.