5. Additional Techniques to Change Stories

Sometimes the best way to shift a story isn’t to challenge it directly—but to remind yourself that you’ve faced doubt before and made it through.

What David Goggins calls the emotional cookie jar is a technique for doing exactly that—drawing strength from your own past victories.

Why listen to Goggins on this? Because he’s lived it.
A former Navy SEAL and ultramarathon runner, Goggins has pushed through extreme mental and physical challenges to complete some of the toughest endurance events in the world.

When he talks about finding motivation in past success, he’s not just sharing an idea—he’s sharing what helped him survive, compete, and keep going when most people would stop.

It’s a mental collection of moments when you pushed through fear, difficulty, or resistance—and succeeded. They’re proof that you’re stronger than your current story may suggest.

You’re not starting from zero. You’ve done hard things before.

Why It Matters

When you’re about to take on something difficult, your inner critic often reappears. It says things like:

“You’ve never been good at this.”
“You always give up.”
“Why bother—you’ll just fail again.”

In that moment, facts don’t always help. What does help is remembering the feeling of overcoming adversity—the times when you wanted to quit but didn’t. When you felt unsure but tried anyway. Those moments build internal trust.

By revisiting your accomplishments, you create a personal resource you can return to in future challenges. That’s your emotional cookie jar.

Topic 5.2 is where you have a chance to go through this with an AI mentor.

Using the Cookie Jar

Next time you feel anxious or stuck, open your emotional cookie jar, look at the list of accomplishments you have just assembled.

Remind yourself:

“I’ve faced difficulty before, and I got through it.”
“I felt unsure back then too—but I moved forward anyway.”
“If I could do it then, I can do it now.”

Author David Goggins describes using his list during moments of exhaustion and doubt. During his first ultra-marathon, the San Diego One Day, Goggins set out to run 100 miles in under 24 hours—with no specialized training. Around mile 70, his body was breaking down. He was in pain, dehydrated, and on the verge of stopping.

But instead of quitting, he started mentally pulling up memories of his hardest-earned achievements: completing Navy SEAL training, overcoming childhood abuse, pushing through brutal workouts. Each one was a “cookie” he could reach for—a reminder of what he had already survived and achieved.

That memory gave him proof: “I’ve done hard things before. I can do this too.”

You can use the same approach. When self-doubt creeps in, return to your own moments of strength.

? Interactive Exercise: Using the Emotional Cookie Jar

Instructions: This exercise helps you explore how reflecting on past accomplishments can build inner strength during moments of doubt. Read each question carefully and choose the option that best captures the core message of the text.

? Key Takeaways

• The emotional cookie jar is a tool for challenging stories of fear, doubt, and avoidance.
  
• It’s built from your own past accomplishments—especially those that required effort or courage.
  
• Reflecting on past success activates strength and quiets the inner critic.
  
• You can use this tool anytime you’re facing a challenge that feels too big or too unfamiliar.
  
• If you’ve done hard things before, you can do them again.

? AI Mentor Interaction: “You’ve Done Hard Things Before”

Goals

You just learned how to build and use an emotional cookie jar. Now Coach Robbi is going to help you create one.

This exercise helps you build confidence by reconnecting with past accomplishments—especially those that required persistence. By reflecting on times when you felt discouraged but didn’t give up, you’ll begin to see your current challenges in a new light. This conversation strengthens your ability to turn past success into present motivation.

Instructions

In this conversation, you’ll be guided by your Coach Robbi to recall meaningful accomplishments from your life—especially those that weren’t easy.

Here’s what to expect:

1. Coach Robbi will help you identify at least five things you’ve accomplished that required effort, persistence, or courage. These might be from school, work, relationships, health, or personal growth. If you come up with more, even better.
   
2. You’ll then reflect on one or more of those experiences. Were there moments when you wanted to give up? What helped you keep going?
   
3. Next, you’ll name a current challenge—something that feels difficult or draining at times.
   
4. Coach Robbi will ask how it feels to remember that you’ve faced hard things before—and succeeded.
   
5. You’ll explore how those past wins might help you with future challenges.
   

You don’t need perfect answers—just honest reflection. This is your space to connect with your own resilience. Having someone ask the questions, instead of answering them alone, can help you go deeper and make the insights stick.

In this interaction, the AI mentor asks for eight examples, but it’s likely that she will start giving feedback after your first three or four.

How to Build Your Emotional Cookie Jar

Here is a handy checklist if you want to do this for yourself or coach another person through the process.

1. List five things you’ve accomplished that you once thought were difficult—or even impossible. These might include:
   
   • Graduating
     
   • Speaking in public
     
   • Losing weight
     
   • Making a bold decision
     
   • Running a race, or resolving a conflict
2. Go further: Look for smaller wins too. Times when you failed at first, or nearly gave up—but kept going.
   
3. Add anything you’re proud of, especially if it took persistence. These stories show your strength in action.
   
4. See if you can come up with a minimum of eight, and maybe even ten things you’ve done in your life where at one point you may have considered quitting, but you persisted and you are proud that you completed.
5. Look at the list and ask yourself:
   • Did I find these things hard at the time?
   • Did I want to quit?
   • How did I feel when I succeeded?
   • What helped me get through?
     

? What You’ve Just Practiced

You looked back and remembered what you’ve already accomplished—even when it was hard. You felt the truth that persistence is part of your story.

You also began to see your current challenge not as a wall, but as the next step in a path you’ve already been walking.You’ve done hard things before. You can do this too.

Growth never feels easy when it’s happening. Often, it feels like uncertainty, stress, even fear. But these feelings don’t mean something is wrong—they mean you’re at the edge of your comfort zone, stepping into something new.

We often treat challenges as problems to avoid. But what if we saw them differently?

What if a challenge wasn’t something that blocks you—but something that shapes you?

Why It Matters

Your brain’s default setting is survival. The limbic system wants to avoid anything that feels like threat, pain, or failure. That includes new tasks, tough feedback, or anything unfamiliar. So the moment you feel anxious, your inner critic may try to shut you down—telling you to postpone, give up, or avoid entirely.

But consider this:
When you think back on your proudest accomplishments—were you calm the whole time?
Or were there moments of doubt, discomfort, or anxiety along the way?

Anxiety often shows up when we care. When we’re doing something new, something challenging, or something that matters.

What if, instead of seeing anxiety as a stop sign, you saw it as a signal that you’re learning? That you’re growing?

Reframing anxiety this way doesn’t make it go away—but it does change what it means. And that shift can help you keep going.

Reframing the Challenge

Here’s a new story to try:

Imagine you are about to do something new and perhaps intimidating. Your inner critic or Part X does what it always does, makes you feel anxious and encourages you not to try, “You’ll never succeed” or “It’s too hard.” or even “It’s not that important, do something easier today.” But this time, your self-awareness clues you in to the fact that this is your Part X, and you counter it with the following:

“This is a challenge that is helping me grow and develop new superpowers.”

This simple reframe can transform how you relate to discomfort. Instead of fighting your feelings, you name them—and move forward with them.

When you look back at your life, chances are your proudest moments came from overcoming something difficult. That moment when you didn’t quit. When you said yes, even though you were afraid. That’s where strength is built.

? Key Takeaways

• Growth often feels like fear, uncertainty, or resistance—but these are signs you’re stepping into something new.
  
• Your limbic system tries to protect you by avoiding discomfort—but that can block progress.
  
• Reframing challenges as opportunities helps reduce fear and activate motivation.
  

“This is helping me grow” is more than a phrase—it’s a story that unlocks action.

We often think of stress as something negative—something to avoid or eliminate. But not all stress is harmful. Some forms of stress can actually help us focus, act, and grow.

It depends on the story we tell about it.

Stress, Distress, and Eustress

Psychologists differentiate between distress and eustress:

• Distress is the kind of stress that overwhelms or shuts us down.
• Eustress is energizing—it sharpens focus, supports learning, and drives meaningful effort.

Both are real, but also interpretations—ways your brain gives meaning to what you feel.
That means your mindset can shape whether stress becomes fuel—or friction.

Let’s look at two different people preparing for a big presentation:

Jamie dreads public speaking. Two days before the presentation, they can’t sleep. Their stomach is tight. Thoughts spiral:
“I’m going to mess this up. I hate this. I want to disappear.”
On the day of the talk, they freeze. The stress became distress—too heavy to carry.

Taylor, facing the same presentation, also feels nervous. But they take a few deep breaths and remind themselves:
“This is important. My nerves mean I care. Let’s turn this into energy.”
They use the adrenaline to focus, speak clearly, and stay present. The stress became eustress—motivation to rise to the challenge.

Now imagine your own version of this: a tough meeting, a creative deadline, or a difficult conversation.
The pressure is real—but how you interpret it matters.

Ask yourself:
“Am I treating this stress as a threat—or as a sign that something meaningful is happening?”

That small shift in perspective can change your posture, your choices, and your outcome.
From “I can’t handle this” to “This is what growth feels like.”

The Role of Interpretation

Imagine this: a 12-year-old is standing at the free-throw line during a school basketball game. The score is tied. Everyone is watching. Her hands are shaking—but she’s excited.

She bounces the ball twice, breathes in, and shoots.
If she makes it, her team celebrates. If she misses, they reset and try again.
She’s nervous—but focused. This pressure feels like purpose.

Now picture that same student sitting down for a math test. The room is silent. She picks up her pencil, looks at the first question—and freezes.
Her hands still shake. But this time, the pressure feels different: “What if I fail?” “What if I’m not good at this?”

In both situations, she performs. She puts in effort. She gets a result.
But the meaning she gives to each experience changes everything.

On the court, she sees a chance to compete and improve.
At her desk, she sees a chance to disappoint or fall short.

The task isn’t the difference. The story is.

What if we could help students bring that same mindset of challenge, energy, and growth to academic situations?
What if assessment felt less like judgment—and more like a game you learn by playing?

Reframing Stress in the Moment

Imagine you’re feeling anxious about a difficult task. You notice the tightness, the restlessness. Maybe you notice that this is a form of stress, maybe you even reflexively start reacting as if that stress and anxiety is a sign that you can’t do it.

Then you pause and say:

“This is eustress. I can use this.”

That shift in framing can change your relationship to the experience.

You might even start to say:

“I live for these moments.”
“This is when I grow the most.”
“Let’s get started.”

It’s not about denying anxiety. It’s about using it.

Turning Toward Growth

When you revisit your emotional cookie jar—your list of past successes—you’re reminding yourself: “I’ve done hard things before.” And when you pair that with a growth-oriented view of stress, you shift from distress to eustress.

You step out of avoidance and into motion.

? Interactive Exercise: Stress, Mindset, and Growth

Instructions: This exercise explores how your mindset shapes the way you experience stress. Read each question carefully and choose the option that best reflects the key insight. As you go, reflect on how reframing stress could shift your own response in challenging situations.

? Key Takeaways

• Stress isn’t inherently bad—it depends on how you interpret it.
  
• Distress stops you. Eustress energizes and moves you forward.
  
• Reframing stress as a signal of growth helps shift your response.
  
• Past challenges prove that stress is often part of your progress.
  
• A single story—like “This is helping me grow”—can turn fear into action.

In this lesson, you explored several new techniques to shift your internal stories—especially the ones that linger, resist change, or return under pressure.

You learned how to draw strength from past experiences using the emotional cookie jar. You reframed stress not as a stop sign but as a signal of growth. And you began to see how your own accomplishments—especially the difficult ones—can become a source of energy when you’re facing something new.

Most importantly, you practiced the art of story replacement. Not through force, but by bringing awareness, compassion, and curiosity to the process.

These are the tools that help you move forward—even when the old voice tells you to freeze.

? Key Takeaways

• Outgrowing Stories: You don’t have to fight every limiting belief—sometimes, you simply outgrow it by taking action.
• The Emotional Cookie jar: This is your personal archive of persistence and success—past accomplishments you can draw on when you feel uncertain.
• Clearly Articulated Recall: Recalling a vivid, positive memory can help shift your emotional state and bring confidence into the present.
• The 12 Questions tool: In the previous lesson, you explored 12 powerful questions that help challenge stuck stories and invite new thinking. These can be used anytime you need to reframe a situation.
• You’ve done hard Things Before: That strength is still with you, and you can bring it into your next challenge.

Next Steps in MindShifting

In the next lesson, you’ll explore how your brain uses memory and imagination to shape what you feel, believe, and expect.

You’ll discover how recalling empowering memories—and vividly anticipating success—can shift your emotional state and activate more resourceful responses. You’ll also learn how the same parts of the brain that store memory are involved in visualizing the future.

By learning tools like Authentic Self-Activation, Success Anticipation, and the SCORE method, you’ll begin to guide your mind toward growth—not just by reflecting on the past, but by actively shaping how you move into what comes next.

Let’s move forward.